God is Awesome

We had a special speaker at our church for the morning and evening services. This is some of the blessings I received:

Since Sunday night I have not been able to put into words what went on at my church, other than it was awesome. I have never witnessed anything like it in my whole life!! It was frightening in a way, yet I'm overwhelmed by the power that was in the sanctuary. I could not sleep at all Sunday night, there was so many thoughts going around in my mind----but I kept hearing those words spoken to me, "the destiny is still bright for you". The things he said to me bypassed my brain and shot straight into my soul. It was like Jesus was talking right to me. I felt something so deep inside me--like He touched me...For some reason I do not know, I looked up at the speaker and saw his lips moving, then looked straight into his eyes and knew it was Jesus talking through him. I could not look away....I was dumbfounded that Jesus was speaking to me....

He said things I have thought in my mind, yet never told anyone and mentioned the many battles I have with the things that happened to me in my life. It was like He validated me....I wish I could explain it better, but not yet....

Monday night I prayed that God would let me sleep right through the night. I woke up at 8:30 Tuesday morning and I realized that I was different. I felt God telling me to write down what He was saying to me.

I could hear Him speaking to me and I knew it was HIM!! I realized that God has given me so many ways to fight the battles that take place in my mind! He was with me through all those battles as a child, teenager, college student, young adult, married adult and now alone again, and He has a destiny for me that is still bright! I realized all the things that God has designed for my life, the devil tried to destroy--but he didn't have enough power because God is GREATER, STRONGER, HIGHER and more AWESOME than any other!
My God is HEALER! He healed me from ALL the wounds the devil threw at me, through different types of abuse and sicknesses. During this past week, he has been trying his best to steal me and destroy me, but GOD'S lifeline is STRONGER than anything that can come against me. Even when I think that I can't take it any longer, His lifeline comes to me and all I need to do is just hold onto it.

I can feel, I can see, I understand now what is going on in my life. I see now why the devil was after me so much the week before the guest speaker came. He was afraid of what was going to take place in my life.

When the guest speaker was talking about the 4th watch, I understood why I have had so many battles happening during those hours. It is usually 3:33 or 4:44am. (For some reason those numbers really bother me) It was during those times when I would get weary from the fighting and just give in and quit trying to battle the thoughts....then....I would feel a weird sense of peace, not really real peace, but quietness before a tornado strikes.
Colossians 1: 13-14 "He has delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins."

I need to shake off anything that comes near me that is not of God. Take every thought captive, let no negative thoughts take hold in my mind- never, ever! Only good wholesome thoughts, Holy Spirit thoughts!

2 Corinthians 10:3-5 "For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war according to the flesh. For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself again the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ"..

Everything in my life that has happened that I believed was punishment was actually the devil trying to take me from God. But, God always won! Whenever bad things happened, He always bounced me back. I had a beautiful place high up on the mountains, in my imagination, that I could go to escape the reality of what was going on in my life. I had to climb up a steep cliff to the very top and then roll down the grassy slopes of my beautiful secret place. There was a stream of water running through the field and no one was there but me, it was so peaceful and safe. No one could hurt me there.  No one but me could ever be in that place, therefore it was safe for me.  The birds were singing in the trees, flowers blowing in the gentle breeze and I knew Jesus was there. I couldn't see Him.... just feel His presence. I'd go to my secret place whenever I could, sometimes I could not find the opening to get in and I'd have to face whatever was going on with the happenings. Sometimes, I would try to go there on my own and I could not get in. It was like I had to be transported there by God...
I knew I was safe there and that the devil could not find me, because I was hidden from him. He had no access to me. No other people were ever there, it was just my place. I knew as soon as I left there, that he would be after me again.  The devil was a formless blob that constantly chased me. I'd have nightmares that he would catch me and I would not be able to get away, but God always rescued me. I never knew what God looked like, I just knew He was there and when I would leave my secret place, I felt stronger.

You know the interesting thing about my secret place? I had never read Psalm 23 until 1988 which is the year I got saved and bought a Bible, yet my secret place is just like Psalm 23.
Throughout my whole life, I could feel God's presence with me at certain times, even when bad things were happening.


After I wrote this note, I went outside to mow my lawn. As I was mowing, the clouds covered the sky and a slight breeze was blowing on me as I walked faster to try to get as much grass cut before the rain. I had just told myself that I could do all things through Christ who gives me the strength, wanting to get another strip of grass done, when BANG!!! Thunder smashed into my ears from right above my head!! I said, "Okay! Okay! Okay God, I heard that! Thank You for the warning, I will stop now." Then as I put the mower into the woods to keep it dry, the rains came. Ooohhhhhhh.......it was so peaceful and quiet. All I could hear were the big drops of rain tumbling out of the sky and watched in awe as they fell to the ground. The thunder was banging all around me and I was not afraid. I walked into the rain and just stood there allowing the healing rain to completely drench me as I praised the Lord. It was awesome in ways I can't explain now. The Lord healed me from the fears I had when I was a child....
Then I stood on my front porch and watched the beauty and power of that storm. It made me realize that my God is GREATER and STRONGER than anything that could ever come after me. I knew that my POWERFUL God would protect me as I made that choice to follow Him wherever He leads me.
After a few minutes, I went out to the back deck and knelt down and talked to God in the middle of the storm....then I laid down and prayed and surrendered everything to God. The thunder was just rumbling at this point and not banging as severe as before. I have never felt so much peace. I don't know how long I stayed out there, but the rains had stopped and I was actually getting cold, so I came inside.

I feel different than I have ever felt....I do not know how to explain it....I'm not worried about anything....just peaceful and I will take it for as long as I can have it!!